Bear News Beartown News

FEBRUARY 1, 2011



A young cowboy from  Wyoming  goes off to college. Half way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered all his money.  He calls home.

"Dad," he says, "You won't believe what modern education is developing!  They actually have a program here in Laramie that will teach our dog, Ol' Blue how to talk!"
"That's amazing," his Dad says. "How do I get Ol' Blue in that program?"
"Just send him down here with $1,000" the young cowboy says. "I'll get him in the course."
So, his father sends the dog and $1,000.
About two-thirds of the way through the semester, the money again runs out.  The boy calls home.
"So how's Ol' Blue doing son?" his father asks.
"Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this - they've had such good results they have started to teach the animals how to read!"
"Read!?" says his father, "No kidding! How do we get Blue in that program?"
"Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class."
The money promptly arrives.  But our hero has a problem.  At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk, nor read.
So he shoots the dog.
When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all excited.
"Where's Ol' Blue?  I just can't wait to see him read something and talk!"
"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ol' Blue was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal, like he usually
does.  Then he turned to me and asked, "So, is your daddy still messing around with that little redhead who lives down the street?"
The father exclaimed,
"I hope you shot that s. of a b. before he talks to your Mother!"
"I sure did, Dad!"
"That's my boy!"
The kid went on to law school, and now serves in Washington D.C. as a Congressman.



Simplicity is the highest perfection of cooking, especially of game, and all other seasoning, sauces and accompaniments should be subordinate to the flavor of the meat.


Roast venison is best to be thoroughly larded, using half a pound of pork to a leg or saddle weighing 8 to 10 pounds.  Trim to a good shape.  Roast in a hot oven, basting at the end of the first 5 minutes and every 15 minutes after.  It is nice to use claret along with the pan drippings.  An hour and a quarter will cook it very rare; for more people an hour and 3/4 will be real fine.
Make a good gravy from the drippings in the pan, adding stock made from the bits of meat trimmed away before roasting.
From Gourmet Style Road Kill Cooking by Jeff Eberbaugh

4 Religious Truths

1.  Muslims do not recognize Jews as God's chosen people.
2.   Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian world.
Baptists do not recognize each other at Hooters.



Copyright 2000 Claude Dern, All Rights Reserved
This site hosted by