SEPTEMBER 1, 2002
Giant Chickens Escape From Local Farm
Giant chickens broke through an ultra strong security fence at the farm of General George Gizmo Zard (see Beartown News 5/1/00) last month, and escaped into the forest. The chickens, each weighing approximately 600 pounds and standing about six feet tall, "should be considered extremely dangerous", said General Zard. KFC, the sponsor of the project, has been called in to help capture the escaped superchickens. The officer responsible, Colonel Sanders, was unavailable for comment.
You can find the missing person by clicking on the link below.
A new medical condition has recently been discovered at Beartown Hospital. It isAAADD - Age-Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it goes... I decide to do the laundry, start down the hall and notice the newspaper on the table. OK, I'm going to do the laundry...
BUT FIRST I'm going to read the newspaper. After that, I notice the mail on the table. OK, I'll just put the newspaper in the recycle stack...
BUT FIRST I'll look through the pile of mail and see if there are any bills to be paid. Yes. Now where is the checkbook? Oops... there's the empty glass from yesterday on the coffee table. I'm going to look for that checkbook...
BUT FIRST I need to put the glass in the sink. I head for the kitchen, look out the window, notice my poor flowers need a drink of water, I put the glass in the sink and there's the remote for the TV on the kitchen counter. What's it doing here? I'll just put it away...
BUT FIRST I need to water those plants. I head for the door and... Aaaagh! stepped on the cat. Cat needs to be fed. Okay, I'll put the remote away and water the plants...
BUT FIRST I need to feed the cat.
END OF DAY: Laundry is not done, newspapers are still on the floor, glass is still in the sink, bills are not paid, checkbook is still lost, and the cat ate the remote control... And, when I try to figure out how come nothing got done today, I'm baffled because... I KNOW I WAS BUSY ALL DAY! I realize this condition is serious... I'll get help...
BUT FIRST... I think I'll check my e-mail.
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