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 AUGUST 1, 2007 |
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AUGUST 1, 2007 |
SUMMER VIRUS
It's summer and please be warned, this virus is making a comeback -
There is a dangerous virus being passed around electronically, orally, and by hand. This virus is called Worry-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss, or anyone else then DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely. If you should come into contact with WORK put your jacket on and take two good friends to the nearest grocery store. Purchase the antidote known as Work-Isolating-Neutralizer-Extract (WINE) or Bothersome-Employer-Elimination-Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system. You should forward this warning to 5 friends. If you do not have 5 friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life. News Flash:
Bush to undergo colonoscopy tomorrow: Anybody with a modicum of intelligence (that excludes Bush) can predict the honest report –President full of s—t; something looking like brains discovered in the area, but too small an amount to get a good sample. Cheney takes control “temporarily” (well not really, but that is the official version): it is too difficult at the present time to clear s—t from the head, so Cheney was asked to remain in charge! FDA APPROVED Must give equal time to another new drug combination: a mixture of Oxycontin and Viagra - which causes the loudmouth, mean-spirited, illogical, ultra-right, self-righteous, self-important ranting of an addicted schmuck. The brand name version is called oxyLimbaugh. |
RECIPE
Cut a whole poke plant off
level with the ground AIR TRAFFIC CONTROL
Enjoy, even if you've never lived in the
South.......... Southerners can be so polite! Atlanta ATC: "Tower to Saudi Air 911 -- You are cleared to land eastbound on runway 9R." Saudi Air: "Thank you Atlanta ATC. Acknowledge cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R - Allah be Praised. Atlanta ATC: "Tower to Iran Air 711 --You are cleared to land westbound on runway 9R." Iran Air: "Thank you Atlanta ATC. We are cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R. - Allah is Great. Pause, Static..... Saudi Air: " ATLANTA ATC - ATLANTA ATC" Atlanta ATC: "Go ahead Saudi Air 911?" Saudi Air: "YOU HAVE CLEARED BOTH OUR AIRCRAFT FOR THE SAME RUNWAY GOING IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS. WE ARE ON A COLLISION COURSE. INSTRUCTIONS, PLEASE. Atlanta ATC: Well bless your hearts, and praise Jesus. Y'all be careful now and tell Allah "hey" for us --
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