Bear News Beartown News

AUGUST 1, 2005



A Marine squad was marching north of Basra when they came upon an

insurgent soldier, injured and unconscious.

Nearby, on the opposite side of the road, was an American Marine in a similar but less serious state. The Marine was conscious and alert.

As first aid was given to both men, the Marine was asked what had happened.

The Marine reported, "I was heavily armed and moving north along the highway and coming south was a heavily armed insurgent. Seeing each other we both took cover.

I yelled to him that Saddam Hussein was a miserable low-life scumbag egg-sucking dog, and he yelled back that Teddy Kennedy is a rich *&#)@^, good-for-nothing, fat, drunk son of a bitch. We were standing there shaking hands when the truck hit us."


Assault Charges

A man and his wife had been debating the purchase of a new auto for weeks. He wanted a new truck. She wanted a fast little sports car so she could zip through traffic around town.
He would have settled on a used truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range.
"Look!" she said. "I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in 4 seconds or less. And my birthday is coming up. You could surprise me!"
For her birthday, he bought her a brand new bathroom scale.
Assault charges are pending . . . .



Muskydine wine makes you feel so fine
Sends cold chills up and down your spine
First you get hot then start to shiver
If ya drink too much it'll quiver your liver
Go up to the holler to your muskydine patch
Pick a batch of grapes and fill up your vats
You san squish em with your hands or mash em with your feet
Or do the boogie woogie on em out in the street
Then ya pick up your vats and strain it through a sieve
The more ya drink the longer you'll live
Put the juices in a barrel and add a little yeast
Let it work in the cellar for two or three weeks
A pro wine taster will say it's the best
Muskydine wine will put hair on your chest

From Gourmet style Road Kill Cooking by Jeff Eberbaugh

"When the citizenry is afraid of offending the government, that's a bad situation.  When the government is afraid of offending the citizenry, that's a good thing."


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