Bear News Beartown News

JULY 1, 2010


Playboy just offered Sarah Palin $4 Million to pose nude in the July issue...
Michelle Obama got offered 50 Bucks from National Geographic.....
And of course, we all remember the KFC "Hillary Meal" . . . two small breasts and two big thighs. Now, KFC has announced an addition to their chicken dinners. It's called the Obama Cabinet Bucket, and consists of nothing but left wings and aholes.


For those of you who have never traveled to the west, or southwest, cattle guards are horizontal steel rails placed at fence openings, in dug-out places in the roads adjacent to highways (sometimes across highways), to prevent cattle from crossing over that area. For some reason the cattle will not step on the "guards," probably because they fear getting their feet caught between the rails.

A few months ago, President Obama received and was reading a report that there were over 100,000 cattle guards in Colorado. Colorado ranchers had protested his proposed changes in grazing policies, so he ordered the Secretary of the Interior to fire half of the 
"cattle" guards immediately!!

Before the Secretary of the Interior could respond and presumably try to straighten him out, Vice-President, Joe Biden, intervened with a request that.. before any 
"cattle" guards were fired, they be given six months of retraining.

And these guys are running our country?


Mick, from Dublin ,appeared on 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' and towards the end of the program had already won 500,000 euros. 
"You've done very well so far," said Chris Tarrant, the show's presenter, "but for a million euros you've only got one life-line left ? phone a friend. Everything is riding on this question.....will you go for it?" "Sure," said Mick. "I'll have a go!" "Which of the following birds does NOT build its own nest?"
"I haven't got a clue." said Mick, ''so I'll use last lifeline and phone my friend Paddy back home in Dublin ." 
Mick called up his mate, and told him the circumstances and repeated the question to him. 
"Fookin hell, Mick!" cried Paddy. "Dat's simple......It's a cuckoo." 
"Are you sure?" "I'm fookin sure." Mick hung up the phone and told Chris, "I'll go wit Cuckoo as my answer." "Is that your final answer?" asked Chris. 
"Dat it is, Sir." There was a long - long pause, and then the presenter screamed, "Cuckoo is the correct answer!  Mick, you've won 1 million euros!" The next night, Mick invited Paddy to their local pub to buy him a drink. 
"Tell me, Paddy? How in Heaven's name did you know it was da Cuckoo that doesn't build its own nest?" "Because he lives in a Fookin clock!"





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