Bear News Beartown News

JULY 1, 2003


NEWS

HEADLINES for 2046

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, California.
White minorities still trying to have English recognized as the California's third language.
Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops & livestock.

Baby conceived naturally.... Scientists stumped.
Authentic year 2000 "Chad" sells at Sotheby's for $1.6 million.
Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2048.
Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesday only.
35 year study: diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.
Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants.
Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.
Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest version of Windows so it crashes BEFORE installation is completed.
New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters, and rolled up newspapers must be registered by January 2047.
Congress authorizes direct deposit of illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.
IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75%

Did you know?????
 

The citrus soda 7-UP was created in 1929; "7" was selected because the original containers were 7 ounces. "UP" indicated the direction of the bubbles.
Mosquito repellents don't repel. They hide you. The spray blocks the mosquito's sensors so they don't know you're there.
Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.
The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as substitute for blood plasma.
American car horns beep in the tone of F.
No piece of paper can be folded in half more than 7 times.
Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.
1 in every 4 Americans has appeared on television.
You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.
Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty years of age or older.
The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.
The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache.
A Boeing 747s wingspan is longer than the Wright brothers' first flight.
American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating 1 olive from each salad served in first-class.
Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.
The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the USA."
 
Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.
The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets.
Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin.
The first owner of the Marlboro company died of lung cancer.
Barbie's full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.
Betsy Ross is the only real person to ever have been the head on a Pez dispenser.
Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike annually than the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.
Adolf Hitler's mother seriously considered having an abortion but was talked out of it by her doctor.
Marilyn Monroe had six toes.
All US Presidents have worn glasses.  Some just didn't like wearing them in public.
Walt Disney was afraid of mice.
The sound of E.T. walking was made by someone squishing her hands in jelly.
Debra Winger was the voice of E.T.
Pearls melt in vinegar.
It takes 3,000 cows to supply the NFL with enough leather for a year's supply of footballs.
Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.
The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.
It is possible to lead a cow upstairs...but not downstairs.

COOKING  INSTRUCTIONS

According to the Knight-Ridder News Service, the inscription on the metal bands used by the U.S. Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds has been changed.
The bands used to bear the address of the Washington Biological Survey, abbreviated: "Wash. Biol. Surv."
Until the agency received this letter from an Arkansas camper:
"Dear Sirs: While camping last week I shot one of your birds. I think it was a crow. I followed the cooking instructions on the leg tag; and I want to tell you, it was horrible."
The bands are now marked Fish and Wildlife Service.

EARTH'S  POPULATION

If we could shrink the earth's population to a
village of precisely 100 people, with all the existing human ratios remaining the same, it would look something like the following:

There would be:
57 Asians
21 Europeans
14 from the Western Hemisphere, both north and south
8 Africans
52 would be female
48 would be male

70 would be non-white
30 would be white

70 would be non-Christian
30 would be Christian

89 would be heterosexual
11 would be homosexual

6 people would possess 59% of the entire world's wealth and all 6 would be from the United States.
80 would live in substandard housing
70 would be unable to read
50 would suffer from malnutrition
1 would be near death; 1 would be near birth
1 (yes, only 1) would have a college education
1 would own a computer

When one considers our world from such a compressed perspective, the need for acceptance, understanding and education
becomes glaringly apparent.
The following is also something to ponder...

If you woke up this morning with more health than illness...you are more blessed than the million who will not survive this week.
If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation ....you
are ahead of 500 million people in the world.

If you can attend a church meeting without fear of harassment, arrest, torture, or death...you are more blessed than three billion people in the
world.
If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep...you are richer than 75% of
this world.
If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish some place ... you are among the top 8% of the
world's wealthy.
If your parents are still alive and still married you are very rare, even in the United States and Canada.
If you can read this message, you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world that cannot read

at all.


Did somebody say Beartown


Email: dernc@sover.net


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