JUNE 1, 2001
Beartown resident Dr. I. R. Beardsley has invented a cell phone which doubles as a portable electric razor. This product will certainly draw criticism from the group of residents that are opposed to any change of any type in Beartown.
A lot of
kneeling will keep you in good standing
Ira Jones and Ima Bear were married on 5/24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in grade school.
At 7PM on Saturday July 7 there will be a Hymn Sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
visited 88 year old Miss Trudy Brumble recently. As he
sat on the couch he noticed a small bowl full of peanuts
on the coffee table. "Mind if I have a few?" he
asks. "No, not at all." the woman replied and
pushed the bowl closer. After an hour of chatting the
Parson stands to leave and realizes that instead of
eating a few peanuts, he has emptied the bowl. "I'm
terribly sorry for eating all the peanuts, I only meant
to have a few."
Beartown Plumbing: WE REPAIR WHAT YOUR
"TO EXERCISE OR NOT TO EXERCISE"
It is well
documented that for every mile you jog, you add one
minute to your life. This enables you, at age 85, to
spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home costing $5,000
IS IT APPROPRIATE FOR YOU TO EXERCISE?
ONLY YOUR DOCTOR KNOWS FOR SURE!
Copyright 2000 Claude Dern, All Rights Reserved
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