Bear News Beartown News

MAY 1, 2005



As Bernardini took to the stage, he announced, "Unlike most stage hypnotists ,who only invite two or three people up onto the stage to be
put into a trance, I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."

The excitement was almost electric as Bernardini withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat. "I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It is a very special watch. It has been in my family for six generations."
"Watch the watch.
Watch the watch.
Watch the watch....

The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface.  Hundreds of pairs of eyes followed the swaying watch - until, unexpectedly, it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a
hundred pieces.
"Shit!!" said the hypnotist.
It took three weeks to clean up the theater.


NEW YORK - Joseph Masone took a frilly looking, cream-filled sandwich cookie from the supermarket's sample tray, nodded thanks to the servers, and went to take a bite. Then he saw the box's label: Sandwich Cookie Treat For Dogs. Masone, 83, put the cookie down.
On the other side of the table, loyal
Three Dog Bakery workers quickly began making their case their product is so fetching that humans also will lap it up.
Three Dogs Bakery managers were in Manhattan grocery stores Wednesday to promote their new sandwich cookie that looks like an Oreo cookie, but is made with carob instead of chocolate, which is bad for dogs. Like all the company's products, the treats, called Lick 'n Crunch, are made entirely with human quality ingredients. Masone was skeptical at first, but he bit the cookie, mulled it over, and declared he liked it. The Three Dog Bakery workers brought a few treats outside to give to Tommy, Masone's poodle, and he seemed to enjoy it even more than his owner.
Masone said he was sold.
"Me and Tommy will eat them together," he said, with a box of cookies under his arm.
Three Dogs Bakery sells biscuits, cookies, cakes, and meals, and while the company boasts that the food is good enough for humans to eat, it's intended for dogs.
"We're not trying to market to humans," said CEO Robert Islinger. "We're trying to explain that there's pet food and there's a new category called food for pets. So many Americans feel their pet is a member of their family, and that's who's our customer."
Kansas City-based
Three Dog Bakery hopes its unconventional model can grab a chunk of the $14.5 billion Americans spent on pet food in 2005.
And the executives say they can vouch for their products because they've eaten them.
"We eat every treat before we give it to a dog," said Islinger. "I've eaten most everything." The Three Dogs cookies are more expensive than traditional dog treats. Food Emporium sells a box of the Lick 'n Crunch for $5.99, while Iams dog biscuits sell for $2.99.
If the shoppers at a Food Emporium grocery store Wednesday were any indication, the company might stand a chance.
"I know it sounds crazy, but if there's nothing in the house, there's a cookie you can share," said Sue-Anne Greenfield, who has two poodles at home.



I used to catch turtles with a hook and a line
When I was just a kid we'ed catch em all the time
When we moved to the city and had no creek
I got dead box turtles right from the street
They stick their heads up to watch for the cars
But they move so slow they get squashed by your tires
When you feel a little bump you know he's dead
Little pieces of his shell get stuck in your tread
Turtles have a lot of different flavors of meat
Cut it into about one inch square
The good thing about it is they don't have hair
Cut up a bunch of veggies and throw em in a pot
Then throw in the meat ther'll be more than you thought
Boil till tender over medium heat
Soup made from box turtle's real hard to beat

From Gourmet style Road Kill Cooking by Jeff Eberbaugh


Copyright 2000 Claude Dern, All Rights Reserved
This site hosted by