BEARTOWN WELCOMES NEW LAW FIRM
Dewey Cheatum & Howe
Attorneys at law
IF YOU DON'T WANT A WORM IN YOUR
COMPUTER, DON'T BUY AN APPLE.
Wisdom From the Bar
Luke ''The Drifter'' says:
"We Americans are
damn tired of being thought of as dumb by the rest of the world.
So we went to the polls in November and removed all doubt."
MEDICARE COVERAGE IN A
The phone rings and the lady of the house answers,
'Mrs. Sanders, please.'
'Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at
Saint Agnes Laboratory. When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy
to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived
as well. We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband.
Frankly, either way the results are not too good.'
'What do you mean?' Mrs. Sanders
'Well, one of the specimens tested positive
for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for HIV. We
can't tell which is which.'
'That's dreadful! Can you do the test
questioned Mrs. Sanders.
'Normally we can, but Medicare will only
pay for these expensive tests one time.'
'Well, what am I supposed to do now?'
'The folks at Medicare recommend that you
drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he
finds his way home, don't sleep with him.'
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests: I decide to
water my lawn. As I turn on the hose in the
driveway, I look over at my car and decide
my car needs washing.
As I start toward the garage, I notice that
there is mail on the porch table that I
brought up from the mail box earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I
wash the car. I lay my car keys down on the
table, put the junk mail in the garbage can
under the table, and notice that the can is
So, I decide to put the bills back on the
table and take out the garbage first. But
then I think, since I'm going to be near the
when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as
well pay the bills first.
I take my check book off the table, and see
that there is only one check left. My extra
checks are in my desk in the study, so I go
inside the house to my desk where I find the
can of Coke that I had been drinking.
I'm going to look for my checks, but first I
need to push the Coke aside so that I don't
accidentally knock it over.
I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I
decide I should put it in the refrigerator
to keep it cold. As I head toward the
kitchen with the Coke a vase of flowers on
the counter catches my eye - they need to be
I set the Coke down on the counter, and I
discover my reading glasses that I've been
searching for all morning. I decide I better
put them back on my desk, but first I'm
going to water the flowers. I set the
glasses back down on the counter, fill a
container with water and suddenly I spot the
TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen
I realize that tonight when we go to watch
TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I
won't remember that it's on the kitchen
table, so I decide to put it back in the
living room where it belongs, but first I'll
water the flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers, but quite
a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set
the remote back down on the table, get some
towels and wipe up the spill.
Then I head down the hall trying to
remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day:
the lawn isn't watered, the car isn't
the bills aren't paid, there is a warm can
of Coke sitting on the counter,
the flowers don't have enough water,
there is still only one check in my
I can't find the remote, I can't find my
I don't remember what I did with the car
and my neighbor called to tell me he turned
off the hose that was flooding the driveway.
Then when I try to figure out why nothing
got done today, I'm really baffled because I
know I was busy all day long, and I'm really
tired. I realize this is a serious problem,
and I'll try to get some help for it, but
first I'll check my
Do me a favor, will you? Forward this
message to everyone you know, because I
don't remember to whom it has been sent.
Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your
day is coming!