Bear News Beartown News

MARCH 1, 2006



In California's Sonoma Valley, where vineyards cater to wine
snobbery, a woman phoned the classified ad department of a newspaper.
She offered for sale what sounded like
"well-aged Caumeneur."
The ad-taker was unfamiliar with that particular wine, but he was
used to the infusion of French words into the local vocabulary...

"Could you please spell that?" he asked.
"You know," said the woman impatiently, "C-o-w  M-a-n-u-r-e."


Cicadas, the 17 year version, are currently plaguing many states. These creatures are not poisonous and do not have a stinger. They
serve no known useful function. They are not part of the food chain. Half of the population are males who spend their time singing or
calling for the females to mate. The annoyance from their loud singing, which can reach 100 db is almost unbearable, and is tempered by the fact that the periodic cicadas are only out for 4 to 6 weeks every 17 years. While here they are most annoying. Their bodies cover our cars windshields as we drive. They are forever flying into us or alighting upon us. Yet they seem proud of their flying skills (which are limited to say the least). They are unwanted, loud, obnoxious, rowdy, driven, it seems, to a search for sex and determined to thoroughly annoy the human race. 
 Many wonder where they come from. One  theory is that these obnoxious, useless creatures are either reincarnated Navy fighter pilots, navigators, or Democrats.


i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid,
aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can
sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was



I always wondered just why in the world
That there's always been so many road kill squirrels
One day huntin I think I figured it out
Why squirrels are so dumb and what they're about
We all know squirrels live high in the trees
But they live across the road from the spot where they feed
They don't stop at the side and look both ways
So they're mashed real flat and lay there for days
Along comes a possum to get a free meal
Then he winds up as a dead road kill
Put some salt in some water and soak em in a bowl
Put them on the stove and simmer real slow
Make some thickener with some flour and some milk from a goat
You know when it's done when the squirrel starts to float
When it get real tender just peel off the meat
Add a pinch of garlic to your dead squirrel meat
Stir in the thickener and put the meat back in
If you eat squirrel meat once you'll eat it again

From Gourmet style Road Kill Cooking by Jeff Eberbaugh


Copyright 2000 Claude Dern, All Rights Reserved
This site hosted by