FEBRUARY 1, 2004
LOS ANGELES, California (Reuters) -- Seafood restaurant chain McCormick & Schmick's recently settled a lawsuit brought by a California woman who said she suffered severe emotional distress after she discovered a condom in her clam chowder, a company spokesman said.
Sultan, 48, said the trouble began when she and three companions sent their soup back to the kitchen to be reheated while dining at the Irvine, California, restaurant.
Sultan said she was treated rudely by the waiter, and when she began eating the soup she encountered a chewy, rubbery object that she first thought was calamari or shrimp, she told local media. She spit the offending object into her napkin and discovered it was a rolled up condom, she said.
A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Beartown University . They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.
One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear.
One thing led to another, and they decided to do a seven-day experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.
Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience. Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has
various bandages, goes first. "Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from
the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The bishop is coming
out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."
Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he proclaimed, "WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle...WE DUNK!
I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to him from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestle down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a crick. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the week in fellowship, feasting on God's Holy Word, and praising Jesus."
They both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in
and out of him. He was in bad shape. The Rabbi looks up and says, "Oy, you fellows don't know what trouble is until you try to circumcise one of those hairy buggers."
A car company can move its factories to Mexico and claim it's a free market.
A toy company can outsource to a Chinese subcontractor and claim it's a free
market. A major bank can incorporate in Bermuda to avoid taxes and claim it's a
free market. We can buy HP Printers made in Mexico. We can buy shirts made in
Bangladesh. We can purchase almost anything we want from many different
countries BUT, heaven help the elderly who dare to buy their prescription drugs
from a Canadian (Or Mexico) pharmacy. That's called un-American! And you think
the pharmaceutical companies don't have a powerful lobby? Think again!
Here is a HISTORY QUIZ
recently aired by ABC. The test consists of one
Copyright 2000 Claude Dern, All Rights Reserved
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