Bear News Beartown News

February 1, 2000


Headmaster Don Reed of Beartown Seminary announced June 3rd as the date of this exciting annual event. This years theme will be "REMEMBER THE FRISBEE". Don't forget to make your reservations well in advance.


Bertha Tufts Beal '36 and Hiram Beal '34 celebrated their 60th anniversary as a second honeymoon. They stayed at the Longwood Hotel and had room service bring champagne, dinner, and oxygen.

Even Mortimer Prebles '23 knew that Mason and Dixon had to draw the line somewhere.


Clem '33 "What was Mrs. Balsam's maiden name?"

Aaron '29 "Why her maiden aim was to get married of course."


Did somebody say Beartown?

DIARY ENTRY 1/1/1900

Awakened to the new century before daylight as usual. Same old chores to do, feed the horses and milk the cow. Gather eggs and fill the wood box. The lanterns still flicker, the windows frost, and the water runs downhill. The box stove makes cracking noises as it hungrily consumes the large maple blocks which surrounded the six acre lot only last spring. McKinley is still president and the war in the Philippines continues. All the worries of wide spread confusion are hogwash.

Salt pork gravy on potatoes and fried eggs for breakfast. Will probably journey to Beartown Depot station next week and pick up order from Sears; a Columbia disc type graphophone for $15 and a Queen Clyde mantel clock for $2.48. What a bargain and coming all the way from Chicago in only two weeks. It's no wonder they claim to be the cheapest supply house on earth.

I must record one very unusual happening today. On the round oak table in the front room is a strange, glowing object as tall as the kerosene lamp. Alongside is an assortment of letters and symbols much like the Burnett typewriter at Beartown Seminary, only much more elaborate. The contraption is made from some lightweight material I have never seen before. Probably someone's idea of a prank; maybe Otis down the road. Wouldn't think he'd venture through the deep snow just for a joke. Besides I didn't see any tracks... but they could have drifted in.

So many modern inventions these days. I suppose we'll have the new horseless carriages coming up the hill before too many more years. I like pushing the buttons. Bird chirp noises are made and blinking shapes dance around the glowing area. As I push letters they appear before me. I hope I won't be ill as I read "YOU HAVE THE Y2K VIRUS", whatever that is.


Copyright 2000 Claude Dern, All Rights Reserved
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