DECEMBER 1, 2005
When I asked my friend what was a good wine to have when you are having a turkey for Thanksgiving, she hit me over the head with a lamp.
At Thanksgiving my mom
went to my sister's house for the traditional
feast. Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom
decided to play a trick. She told my sister that
she needed something from the store.
A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin.
However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed
that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.
After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before. All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!
One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice. She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you."
"My darling," he replied, "I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."
He was scalded in the night
in the dark of the moon
From Gourmet style Road Kill Cooking by Jeff Eberbaugh
Misguided Criminals for Terrorists.
Thought Shower or Word Shower substituting for brainstorm so as not to offend those with brain disorders such as epilepsy.
Deferred Success as a euphemism for the word fail. The Professional Association of Teachers in the UK considered a proposal to replace any notion of failure with deferred success in order to bolster students self-esteem.
Womyn for Women to distance the word from man.
"God Rest Ye Merry Persons” for “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen”.
Copyright 2000 Claude Dern, All Rights Reserved
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