REINDEER

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to
mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.
Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, every single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen- had to be a girl.
We should've known. Only women, while pregnant, would be able to drag a fat man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

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FOREST  FIRES

Fire authorities in California found a corpse in  a burned out section of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire.  The
deceased male was dressed in a full wetsuit, complete with scuba tanks on his  back,
flippers, and face mask. A post-mortem revealed that the person died not from burns, but from massive internal injuries. Dental
records  provided a positive identification.
Investigators then set about to determine how a fully clad diver  ended up in the middle of a forest fire.
It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the person went for a  diving trip off the coast some 20 miles from the forest. The fire-fighters, seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible, called  in a fleet of helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water was dipped
from the ocean and then flown to the forest fire and emptied. You  guessed it. One minute
our diver was making like Flipper in the  Pacific, the next he was doing the breast stroke in a fire dip bucket 300  feet in the air.
Apparently he extinguished exactly 5'10" of the fire. Some  days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed.

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TRACING MY FAMILY TREE

To find if I could find the makings of me.
And all that I had was Great grandfather's name,
not knowing his wife or from where he came.
I chased him across a long line of states,
And came up with pages and pages of dates.
When all put together, it made me forlorn,
Proved poor Great-grandpa had never been born.
One day I was sure the truth I had found,
Determined to turn this whole thing upside down.
I looked up the record of one Uncle John,
But then I found the old man to be younger than his son.
Then when my hopes were fast growing dim,
I came across records that must have been him.
The facts I collected made me quite sad,
Dear old Great grandfather was never a Dad.
I think someone is pulling my leg,
I am not at all sure I wasn't hatched from an egg.
After hundreds of dollars I've spent on my tree,
I can't help but wonder if I'm really me.