NEWS
Economic Quote of the Week:
"This is
worse than a divorce. I've lost half my net worth, and I still
have my wife."
When I say I'm Broke
I'M BROKE !
A little
old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be
confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.
'Good
morning,'
said the young man.
'If I could take a
couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the
very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners.'
'Go away!'
said the old lady.
'I'm broke and
haven't got any money!'
and she proceeded to
close the door. Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot
in the door and pushed it wide open.
'Don't be too
hasty!' he
said. 'Not
until you have at least seen my demonstration.'
And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her
hallway carpet. 'If
this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse
manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the
remainder.'
The old lady stepped back and said,
'Well let me get you
a fork, 'cause they cut off my electricity this morning.'
WARNING FROM
THE MIDDLE EAST
This morning, from a cave somewhere in
Pakistan, Taliban Minister of
Migration, Mohammed Omar, warned the United States that if
military action
against Iraq continues, Taliban authorities will cut off America's
supply of convenience store managers, and possible candidates for
President of the
United States.
And if this action does not yield sufficient results, cab drivers
will be
next, followed by Dell and AOL customer service reps, and then
Motel 6
managers.
It's getting ugly folks.
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WALL
STREET BAILOUT
Once
upon a time a man appeared in a village and
announced to the villagers that he would buy
monkeys for $10 each.
The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys
around, went out to the forest and started
catching them.
The man bought thousands at $10 and, as supply
started to diminish, the villagers stopped their
effort. He next announced that he would
now buy monkeys at $20 each. This renewed the
efforts of the villagers and they started catching
monkeys again.
Soon the supply diminished even further and people
started going back to their farms. The offer
increased to $25 each and the supply of
monkeys became so scarce it was an effort to even
find a monkey, let alone catch it!
The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at
$50 each! However, since he had to go to the city
on some business, his assistant would buy on his
behalf. In the absence of the man, the assistant
told the villagers:
'Look
at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man
has already collected. I will sell them to you at
$35 and when the man returns from the city, you
can sell them to him for $50 each.'
The villagers rounded up all their savings and
bought all the monkeys for 700 billion dollars.
They never saw the man or his assistant again,
only lots and lots of monkeys!
Now you have a better understanding of how the
WALL STREET BAILOUT PLAN WILL WORK !!!!
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