Bear News Beartown News

NOVEMBER 1, 2008


Economic Quote of the Week:

 "This is worse than a divorce. I've lost half my net worth, and I still have my wife."

When I say I'm Broke

A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.
'Good morning,' said the young man.  'If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners.' 'Go away!' said the old lady.  'I'm broke and haven't got any money!' and she proceeded to close the door.  Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open.
'Don't be too hasty!' he said.  'Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.' And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet.  'If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder.' The old lady stepped back and said, 'Well let me get you a fork, 'cause they cut off my electricity this morning.'

       WARNING FROM           THE      MIDDLE EAST 
This morning, from a cave somewhere in Pakistan, Taliban Minister of
Migration, Mohammed Omar, warned the United States that if military action
against Iraq continues, Taliban authorities will cut off America's supply of convenience store managers, and possible candidates for President of the
United States.
And if this action does not yield sufficient results, cab drivers will be
next, followed by Dell and AOL customer service reps, and then Motel 6
It's getting ugly folks.


Once upon a time a man appeared in a village and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each.
The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.
The man bought thousands at $10 and, as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He next announced that he would
now buy monkeys at $20 each. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.
Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer increased to $25 each and the supply of
monkeys became so scarce it was an effort to even find a monkey, let alone catch it!
The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50 each! However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would buy on his behalf.  In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers:
'Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has already collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each.'
The villagers rounded up all their savings and bought all the monkeys for 700 billion dollars.
They never saw the man or his assistant again, only lots and lots of monkeys!
Now you have a better understanding of how the WALL STREET BAILOUT PLAN WILL WORK !!!!



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