Bear News Beartown News

OCTOBER 1, 2002



Alton Strange, a Beartown lawyer for over 60 years died last month. As he had no relatives his closest friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on the monument, "Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer."
The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passers - by who would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone. So he suggested an alternative. He would inscribe,
"Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer."
That way, whenever anyone walked by the tombstone and read it, they would be certain to remark,
"That's Strange."


Bob, the stock manager for Beartown Electric Co., had ordered an important part that was urgently needed to keep the electricity flowing in Beartown.  He had ordered part No. 669 from the factory. But when he received it he noticed that someone had sent part No. 699 instead.
Furious at the factory's incompetence,
Bob promptly sent the part back along with a letter telling them a thing or two or three.
Less than a week later, he received the same part back with a letter containing just five words:

  New Gourmet Cat Food  Soup!

Pet owners who like to pamper their pets and who care about cuisine will soon be able to give Purry something new - a soup course.
The Beartown company,
Purrfect Foods, has begun test marketing a new line of gourmet soups for cats named "Catsup". The soups come in individual 3 ounce sterile pouches, and are intended as a "first course", rather than as a complete meal for pets.
Claude Feline, product marketing director for the new line, says
"Cats are natural soup drinkers, since their rough tongue's increased surface area make it easy for them to lap up liquids."
The new soup will initially be available in four flavors:
Trout Bisque, Cream of Cheddar, Lamb Consomme, and Cream of Tuna.
"We tried a variety of gazpacho that we called 'Cats-Paw-Cho', which had a little bit of catnip included," says Feline, "but we had a few incidents during testing."
What's next if cats and cat owners take to the new Catsup line of gourmet soups?
"Salad, of course." says Feline.

Did somebody say Beartown?


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