OCTOBER 1, 2000
many, many thanks for your overwhelming support in the
recent primary elections. There were many look-a-like
candidates but the public certainly saw through any
disguises and I WON THE PRIMARY! You may
be assured that there will be no monkey business in my
administration if I'm elected in the upcoming November
Elections. My family and I heartily thank you for all
votes past and future.
Thank all you voters for the seven votes I received. I fully endorse the primary winner and always knew he was the best creature for the position.
Many thanks for the four votes cast at me. My support is now completely behind The Great Ape that beat me.
Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 Sneaky Neighbors Dog
calves, never bred; also 1 gay bull.
Alzheimers Center holding An Affair to Remember
Will the person or person that took the large pumpkin on River Road near Hawk Hill please return the pumpkin and be checked for radioactive contamination. All other plants in the area are dead.
white dog near Joe's HAWG FARM. Looks like a rat. Better
Did somebody say Beartown?
I have decided to share with the public the statements given to me following the unusually high number of accidents in Beartown during September. I urge everyone to be especially cautious in October as once again the leaf-peeping flatlanders arrive to violate most all the Rules of the Road.
home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a
tree I didn't have."
Brown and his brand new bride were riding home from the
chapel in a wagon pulled by a team of horses when the
older horse stumbled. The farmer said, "That's once."
A little further down the road the poor old horse
stumbled again. The farmer said, "That's twice."
After a little while the poor old horse stumbled again.
The farmer didn't say anything, but reached under the
seat, pulled out a rifle and shot the horse.
SIGNS of the TOWN
There's no present like the time
Copyright 2000 Claude Dern, All Rights Reserved
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