
MYSTERY
Why, Why, Why
do we press harder on a remote control when we know
the batteries are getting dead?
Why do
banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they
know there is not enough money?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are
four billion stars, but check when you say the paint
is wet?
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal
injection?
Why
doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but
ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do
Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
Why is it
that no matter what color bubble bath you use the
bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do
people constantly return to the refrigerator with
hopes that something new to eat will have
materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times
with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it
up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum
one more chance?
Why is it
that no plastic bag will open from the end on your
first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light
fixtures?
When we
are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with
a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do
we say,
"It's all
right?"
Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say,
"That
hurt, you stupid idiot?"
Why is it
that whenever you attempt to catch something that's
falling off the table you always manage to knock
something else over?
In winter
why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in
summer when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every
four persons is suffering from some sort of mental
illness. Think of your three best friends -- if
they're okay, then it's you.
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The Editor has
decided there are no answers to these questions!
DO NOT SEE NEXT MONTH'S
BEARTOWN NEWS FOR THE ANSWERS
FROM LAST MONTH
Do they have a fourth
of July in England?
YES, every July has a fourth day.
How many birthdays does the
average man have?
ONE, on the same day every year.
Some months have 31 days; how many
have 28?
All months have at least 28 days.
How many outs are there in an
inning?
SIX, 3 in the top half and 3 in
the bottom half.
Is it legal for a man in
California to marry his widow's sister?
If a man has left a widow, he is
dead.
Divide 30 by 1/2 and add 10.
What is the answer?
70. 30/.5=60+10=70
If there are 3 apples and you take
away 2, how many do you have?
2 You took 2.
A doctor gives you 3 pills telling
you to take 1 every half hour. How many minutes would the pills
last?
60 There is 30 minutes between
each pill.
A farmer has 17 sheep and all but
9 die. How many are left?
9 Only 9 didn't die.
How many animals of each sex did
Moses take on the ark?
Moses didn't have an ark, Noah had
the ark.
How many 2 cent stamps are there
in a dozen? 12 Twelve of anything
is a dozen.
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