Bear News Beartown News

APRIL 1, 2005

MYSTERY
CAN YOU SOLVE THESE MYSTERIES???

Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered
 assassinated instead of just murdered?

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in.," but it's only a "penny for
your thoughts"?  Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried
 in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be
a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up
like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in
binoculars to look at things on the ground?

How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change?  They're going to see you naked anyway.
If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
 Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible
 crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile?  If you are stopped by the police and asked for  your license, are you going to be smiling?
 If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
 Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a
coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't
point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?  They're both dogs!
What do you call male ballerinas?
Can blind people see their dreams?  Do they dream?
If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why
didn't he just buy dinner?

 If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
 Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
 Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but
call  it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you,
 but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?

SEE NEXT MONTH'S BEARTOWN NEWS FOR THE ANSWERS
NEVER MIND, DO THE BEST YOU CAN.  I'M SURE ANY ANSWERS WOULD BE ACCEPTABLE!!!


FROM LAST MONTH
WHERE DID THE DOLLAR GO???

Three travelers register at the Beartown Hotel and are told their rooms will cost $10 each, resulting in a total cost of $30.  Later the desk clerk realizes that he made a mistake and the travelers should have only been charged $25.  He gives the bellboy $5 to return to the guests.  However, the bellboy is dishonest and gives each of the guests $1, keeping $2 for himself.  So the men actually paid $27 ($9 times 3) and the bellboy kept $2 for a total of $29.
Since they originally paid $30,
what happened to the other dollar???  The Beartown Constable needs your help to solve this case!

If the bellboy gave each guest $1 they would have paid a total of $28 (25 + 3) and the bellboy kept $2.  There is no other dollar!!!

 

CLICK BELOW FOR HUMMING HORSES

http://svt.se/hogafflahage/hogafflaHage_site/Kor/hestekor.html
Don't forget to click BACK


IS THIS A WHALE?   CLICK BELOW & HAVE YOUR MOUSE READY

Worlds Most Dangerous Creature    DON'T FORGET to CLICK BACK!

YOU CAN HAVE YOUR OWN PRIVATE EYE WHICH YOU CONTROL WITH YOUR CURSOR. 


JUST CLICK THE THE LINK BELOW

 

EYEBALL

DON'T FORGET to CLICK BACK



Email: dernc@sover.net


Copyright 2000 Claude Dern, All Rights Reserved
This site hosted by VTweb.com