Bear News Beartown News

OCTOBER 1, 2000


"The Goodmans were known to be in reduced circumstances. Owed everybody," said Johnson, the insurance investigator. "The eight thousand dollars they'll collect on the shattered antique vase will save their hides."
"Then it's your contention the Chinese vase was deliberately broken?" asked the Beartown Constable.
"Of course, but I can't budge the eyewitness, Mrs. Lilly. She's the Goodmans neighbor and closest friend.
"A few moments before the alleged 'accident,' Mrs.Lilly received a box containing a mink coat. It was her first fur, and since it was a warm September day, she imnmediately went upstairs to unpack it and hang it in the storage closet.
"The window next to the storage closet," continued the insurance man, "is the only one in her house which has a view into the Goodmans' bedroom. After hanging the coat, Mrs. Lilly heard Mrs. Goodman scream and saw her neighbor stumble into the vase. It sailed through the open window and shattered on the ground below.
"The fur company's driver noted the Lilly delivery was made at 2:30 PM. A couple minutes later he heard Mrs. Goodman scream. Rushing from the truck, he saw the fragments of the vase, and both women looking down from their windows."
"As it was a warm September day, interrupted the Beartown Constable, "why wasn't there a screen on the Goodman window?"
"It was being repaired. That was the first angle I investigated. About the only thing I've got to go on is the hunch Mrs.Lilly is lying for her friend."
"I should take the matter to court before paying," agreed the Beartown Constable. "And make sure you have several women on the jury."

What did the Constable mean by his last remark? Check the next issue of Beartown News for the answer.

LAST ISSUE'S SOLUTION: The real Pierpont Wordsworth, a master of the English language, would not have committed one of the most common errors in the language - misusing the word "scan."
The verb "to scan" means to examine intensively. The imposter, like most semieducated persons, thought it means "to skim" in reading.



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