JANUARY 1, 2001
A BEARTOWN MYSTERY
"Don't tell me," said the Beartown
Constable. "Let me guess. You just tried another of
your disastrous attempts to woo a young lady and were
shot down once again."
Bobby Pendel, the well known Beartown playboy, nodded
glumly. "This time I was absolutely sure I had my
story down pat. Yet something went wrong. I can't figure
"You've heard of Alice Stork?" he asked. "Her
grandfather sailed with Admiral Byrd and a cousin climbed
Mt. Everest with the Eggler party. If you haven't combed
icicles from your beard you don't rate with her.
"I took her to dinner Christmas eve, and it seemed a
good time to relate my Artic Circle yarn," continued
the youth. "I opened by commenting that I had once
spent Christmas Eve in less comfortable surroundings.
"Then I told her about the morning Capt. Haupin and
I were mushing back to the Navy's Artic Observation
Weather Station. Suddenly Haupin fell and fractured his
leg. Ten minutes later the stretch of ice we were
crossing broke loose. We began to drift out to sea.
"I realized Haupin and I and the dogs would freeze
to death unless I started a fire. Alas, we had used up
all our matches. I got out a small magnifying glass from
our instrument kit and, tearing off sheets from our
reports, laid them on the steel instrument box. By
focusing the sun's rays through the glass onto the paper,
I started a hearty blaze.
"Fortunately, a Coast Guard cutter picked us up
after 24 hours. The Captain said I was a hero."
"But not Alice Stork," said the Beartown
Constable. "And no wonder she didn't believe your
How did the Constable know that
Bobby Pendel's story was untrue? Check the next issue of Beartown
News for the answer.
LAST ISSUE'S SOLUTION: Willie
Napster could not have been dialing a Zh-6- phone number.
There is no Z on the phone dial.
Copyright 2000 Claude Dern, All
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