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And it came to pass in the Age of Insanity that the  people of the land
called America , having lost their morals,  their initiative, and their
will to defend their liberties, chose  as their Supreme Leader that
person known as
"The One."


He emerged from the vapors with a message that had no  meaning; but He
hypnotized the people telling them,
"I am sent to  save you." My lack
of experience, my questionable ethics, my  monstrous ego, and my
association with evil doers are of no  consequence. I shall save you
with hope and Change. Go,  therefore, and proclaim throughout the
land that he who proceeded  me is evil, that he has defiled the nation,
and that all he has  built must be destroyed. And the people rejoiced,
for even though  they knew not what "The One" would do, he had promised
that it  was good; and they believed. And "The One" said " We live in
the  greatest country in the world. Help me change everything about  it!"

And the people said,
"Hallelujah! Change is good!"
Then  He said,
"We are going to tax the rich fat-cats."
And the
people  said "Sock it to them!"
"And redistribute their wealth." And

the  people said,
"Show us the money!"
And then he said,  
Redistribution of wealth is good for everybody."
And Joe the plumber asked, " Are you kidding me?  You're going to
steal my money and give it to the deadbeats??"  And
"The One"
ridiculed and taunted him, and Joe's personal  records were hacked and publicized.
One lone reporter asked,  
"Isn't that Marxist policy?" And she was
banished from the  kingdom.
Then a citizen asked, "With no foreign relations  experience and
having zero military experience or knowledge, how  will you deal with
radical terrorists?" And
"The One" said,  "Simple. I shall sit with
them and talk with them and show them  how nice we really are; and they
will forget that they ever  wanted to kill us all!"
And the people
"Hallelujah!! We are  safe at last, and we can beat our weapons
into free cars for the  people!"
Then "The One" said "I shall give 95% of you lower  taxes." And one,
lone voice said,
"But 40% of us don't pay ANY  taxes." So "The One"
"Then I shall give you some of the  taxes the fat-cats pay!"
And the people said,
"Hallelujah! Show  us the money!"
"The One" said, "I shall tax your Capital  Gains when you sell
your homes!" And the people yawned and the  slumping housing market
collapsed. And He said.
"I shall mandate  employer-funded health care
for every worker and raise the  minimum wage. And I shall give every
person unlimited healthcare  and medicine and transportation to the
clinics." And the people  said, "Give me some of that!"
Then he said,
"I shall penalize  employers who ship jobs overseas."
And the people said,
"Where's  my rebate check?"

Then "The One" said, "I shall bankrupt the coal  industry and
electricity rates will skyrocket!" And the people  said, "Coal is
dirty, coal is evil, no more coal! But we don't  care for that part
about higher electric rates." So
"The One"  said, "Not to worry. If
your rebate isn't enough to cover your  expenses, we shall bail you out.
Just sign up with the ACORN and  you troubles are over!"
Then He said, "Illegal immigrants feel scorned and  slighted. Let's
grant them amnesty, Social Security, free  education, free lunches,
free medical care, bi-lingual signs and  guaranteed housing..." And
the people said,
"Hallelujah!" and  they made him king!
And so it came to pass that employers, facing  spiraling costs and
ever-higher taxes, raised their prices and  laid off workers. Others
simply gave up and went out of business  and the economy sank like unto
a rock dropped from a  cliff.
The bank  banking industry was destroyed. Manufacturing slowed to a
crawl.  And more of the people were without a means of support.
Then "The One" said, "I am the "the One"- The Messiah  - and I'm here
to save you! We shall just print more money so  everyone will have
enough!" But our foreign trading partners said  unto Him. "Wait a
minute. Your dollar is not worth a pile of  camel dung! You will have
to pay more... And
"The One"  said, "Wait a minute. That is
unfair!!" And the world said,  "Neither are these other idiotic
programs you have embraced. Lo,  you have become a Socialist state and
a second-rate power. Now  you shall play by our rules!"


Copyright 2000 Claude Dern, All Rights Reserved
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