Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell
When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it
still the same old story?
Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the
mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE
named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around?
We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the
"Chrysler Eagle" the “Chrysler Beagle"?
If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears
him, is he still a bad dog?
We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand
signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beeper s, scent ID's,
electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths What
do humans understand?
More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to
Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must
remember to be a good dog.
1. I will not eat the cats'
food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead
seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they
3. I will not munch on
"leftovers" in the kitty litter box, although they are tasty.
4. The diaper pail is not a
5. The sofa is not a 'face
towel'. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
6. The garbage collector is
not stealing our stuff.
7. My head does not belong
in the refrigerator.
8. I will not bite the
officers hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license
9. I will not play
tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
10. Sticking my nose into
someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".
11. I don't need to
suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.
12.. I must shake the
rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
13. I will not throw up in
14. I will not come in from
outside and immediately drag my butt.
15. I will not sit in the
middle of the living room and lick my crotch when we have
16. The cat is not a
'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise,
it's usually not a good thing.
And, finally, my last
When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?