LETTERS
COUNTRY
WISDOM
FROM FARMER ASA BUMPKIN
Don't name a pig you plan to eat.
Country fences need to be horse high, pig tight
and bull strong. Life is not about how fast
you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce.
Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.
Life is simpler when you plow around the stumps.
Mortgaging a future crop is saddling a
wobbly colt. A bumble bee is faster than a
John Deere tractor. Trouble with a milk cow
is she won't stay milked. Don't skinny dip
with snapping turtles. Words that soak into
your ears are whispered, not yelled.
Meanness don't happen overnight. To know how
country folks are doing, look at their barns, not their houses.
Never lay an angry hand on a kid or an animal, it
just ain't helpful. Teachers, bankers, and
hoot owls sleep with one eye open. Forgive
your enemies. It messes with their heads.
Don't sell your mule to buy a plow. Two can live as cheap as one
if one doesn't eat. Don't corner something meaner
than you. You can catch more flies with
honey than vinegar, assuming you want to catch flies.
Man is the only critter who feels the need to
label things as flowers or weeds. It don't
take a very big person to carry a grudge.
Don't go huntin' with a fellow named Chug-A-Lug.
You can't unsay a cruel thing.
Every path has some puddles, some even have rivers
to cross. When you wallow with pigs, expect
to get dirty. The best sermons are lived,
not preached. Most of the stuff people
worry about never happens. Lazy and
Quarrelsome are ugly sisters.
BELIEVE ME; THESE ARE TRUE!!!, NO BS.
If you read the NEWS page
carefully you may have seen this same advice. DID
YOU???
|
 |
Also, while I'm a writin', which I
don't do very often, I want to tell you about a new truck I bought last
spring.
I went to town to buy a pickup truck that I
saw advertised in the paper for a certain price. I told the salesman
which truck I wanted, and we sat down to do the paperwork. I saw the
bill and declared, "This isn't the price
I saw!"
The salesman went on to tell me how I was getting
extras such as power brakes, power windows, special tires etc. and that
was what took the price up. I needed the truck badly, paid the price
and went home.
Last month, the salesman called me and said,
"My son is in 4-H and he needs a cow for a
project. Do you have any for sale?"
I replied, "Yes, I
have a few cows, and I would sell for $500.00 a piece. Come look at
them and take your pick."
The salesman said he and his son would be right
out. After spending a few hours in the field checking out
all my cows, the two decided on one and the salesman proceeded to write
out a check for $500.00.
I said--------"Now, wait a minute,
that's not the final price of the cow. You're getting extras with it and
you have to pay for that too."
"What extras?"
asked the salesman. Below is my list which I
gave the salesman for the final price of the cow..........
BASIC
COW..............................$500.00
Two tone exterior.......................$45.00
Extra
stomach............................$75.00
Product storing equipment.......$60.00
Straw compartment...................$120.00
4 Spigots @$10 ea...................$40.00
Leather upholstery.....................$125.00
Dual
horns..................................$45.00
Automatic fly swatter.................$38.00
Fertilizer
attachment...................$185.00
GRAND TOTAL.......................$1,233.00 |
 |
|
