A nun walks into
Mother Superior's office and plunks down into a
chair.
She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration.
"What troubles you, Sister?"
asked the Mother Superior.
"I thought this was the
day you spent with your family."
"It was,"
sighed the Sister.
"And I went to play golf with my brother. We
try to play golf as often as we can. You know I
was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my
life to Christ."
"I seem to recall that,"
the Mother Superior agreed.
"So I take it your day of recreation was not
relaxing?"
"Far from it,"
snorted the Sister.
"In fact, I even took the Lord's name in vain
today!"
"Goodness, Sister!"
gasped the Mother Superior, astonished.
"You must tell me all about it!"
"Well, we were on the fifth tee...and this hole
is a monster, Mother - 540 yard Par 5, with a
nasty dogleg left and a hidden green...and I hit
the drive of my life. I aced it! The sweetest
swing I ever made. And it's flying straight and
true, right along the line I wanted...and it
hits a bird in mid-flight!"
"Oh my!"
commiserated the Mother.
"How unfortunate! But surely that didn't make
you blaspheme, Sister!"
"No, that wasn't it,"
admitted Sister.
"While I was still trying to fathom what had
happened, a squirrel ran out of the woods,
grabbed my ball and ran off down the fairway!"
"Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!"
sympathized the Mother.
"But I didn't, Mother!"
sobbed the Sister.
"And I was so proud of myself. And while I was
pondering whether this was a sign from God, a
hawk swooped out of the sky, grabbed the
squirrel with my ball still clutched in his
paws, and flew away!"
"So that's when you cursed."
said the Mother
with a knowing smile.
"Nope, that wasn't it either,"
cried the Sister, anguished,
"because as the hawk began to fly out of sight,
the squirrel started struggling and the hawk
dropped him right there on the green, and the
ball popped out of his paws and rolled to about
18 inches from the cup!"
Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded
her arms across her chest, fixed the
Sister with a baleful stare and said..."You
missed the
@*$^%?!
putt, didn't you?"
THE HAPPY GOLFER???