Bear News Beartown News

JUNE 1, 2000



The Society for the Preservation of Scenic Beauty has scheduled an emergency meeting for June 25 at 5:00 AM at the Town Hall to discuss the rampant visual pollution which is overtaking our roadsides.

The time has been carefully chosen so as not to interfere with traditional summer activities. Coffee and donuts will be provided.

32,879 billboard ordinances from around the world will be available to help us neophytes draft a document which will be fair, restrictive, powerful, and enforceable.

These objectionable billboards do not tell any of us anything which we don"t already know! A picture is worth 1000 words, but if the intended message is already memorized and etched into the deep recesses of the part of our brain that we seldom use; then why should we have to be constantly reminded of these facts of life as we leisurely drive along the pastoral rough roads of BEARTOWN!

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, attend this important meeting and contribute your two or more cents worth to help preserve one of the last backward towns in the WHOLE WORLD.

The staff of the Beartown Medical Clinic thanks all the residents that got outside and EXERCISED, EXERCISED, and EXERCISED. We had a 142% increase over last year in the number of sprains, strains, broken bones, and dehydration! Keep up the good work!
Our JIFFY EXAM special has been extended until July 1 with an approximate increase in cost of 50% to keep up with the always rising costs of healthcare. Do your part to keep our costs down by increasing volume. Remember EXERCISE, EXERCISE, EXERCISE.


Copyright 2000 Claude Dern, All Rights Reserved
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