Bear News Beartown News

MAY 1, 2000



The staff of the Beartown Medical Clinic urges all inhabitants to get outside and enjoy the wonderful world of nature which surrounds us. Breathe the fresh mountain air. Hike through the forests as they once again turn green. Fish for the high in protien - low in fat brook trout. Pick the fresh leeks, dandelions, and cow slips (no these are not cow pies). EXERCISE, EXERCISE, and EXERCISE some more but be careful to not over exert yourself. A good rule of thumb is to stop strenuous exercise ten minutes prior to when you might have a heart attack.
Do you have the snow tires removed from your car and have it greased and the oil changed in the spring? SURE YOU DO. Don't spend more attention on your car than yourself. Make an appointment now to
have your spring maintenance performed. Our new JIFFY EXAM is available from 3 to 6 PM, Monday thru Friday for only $19.95 CASH. This covers the doctor's sevices only and excludes any ointments, tonics, elixirs, physic, balm, salve, plaster, poultice, surgery, hospitalization, or prescriptions. So this month be sure to Remember the letter R and Restore, Replace, Reestablish, Reinstate, Reconstitute, Rebuild, Redintegrate, Rectify, Redress, Reclaim, Redeem, Recover, Retrieve, Refit, Refresh, Rehabilitate, Reconvert, Reconstitute, Renovate, Revive, Regenerate, Recuscitate, Reanimate, and Reseat yourself in preparation for a physically active summer season.

To: Beartown residents
From: Paul Bunyan Toothpick Company

We will be logging again this year in Lost Hollow and anticipate your continued cooperation. We will strictly adhere to all town ordinances regarding trucks. We will not operate with any loads larger than the ones shown below. If you witness a larger load please call us at (669)244-5623 or (OMY)BIG-LOAD. Collect calls will not be accepted.


Boozer Bob Jr. reminds all children to remember to celebrate Mother's Day (and to look forward to celebrating Father's Day next month. There are always plenty of occasions to celebrate!)


Copyright 2000 Claude Dern, All Rights Reserved
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