Bear News

Beartown News

MAY 1, 2002

LETTERS

 

 Dear Tech Support:

     Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the performance of flower and jewelry applications that  had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0 In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9, but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Desperate


RESPONSE

Dear Desperate:

     First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package,  while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command:  C:/I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then  automatically run the applications: Guilty 3.0 and Flowers 7.0. But  remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5,  Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create  SnoringLoudly.WAV files.
     DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 or reinstall  another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will  crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does  have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might  consider buying additional software to improve performance. I personally  recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 6.9
.

Good Luck,
Tech Support


 

To My Dear Friend the Dog :

I am so sorry about you being sent to the dog pound for the broken lamp which you did not break; the fish you did not spill; and the carpet that you did not wet; or the wall that you did not dirty with red paint...

Things here at the house are calmer now, and just to show you that I have no hard feelings towards you, I am sending you a picture, so you will always remember me.
Best regards,
The Cat


 


Email: dernc@sover.net


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