APRIL 1, 2000
Public Service Announcement from the Beartown Constable
First I wish to thank all you loyal voters for my once again being elected to the office of Constable. (the write in votes for various bears were not found to be humorous) Secondly it is once again springtime and I want you all to be aware of the increase in outdoor activity and act accordingly.
Everybody and everything is on the move. Activity is no longer concentrated just between the snowbanks. While driving on our roadways which are not the flatest, or the straightest, or the smoothest, or the widest, or the driest.......... I think you get the picture; our roads are terrible. Please keep a constant lookout for any activity which might result in an accident. Remember, even if you had the right-of-way but die in the crash; it really didn't matter; did it?
Look up as well as down and sideways. You may be surrounded with situations which require all of your best driving skills at the same time.
Ice should no longer be a problem but standing water on the roads following a heavy rainstorm is a hazard. The water may conceal a washout of a portion of the roadbed and slippery creatures may be submerged in the puddles.
PLEASE observe the speed limits at all times. You do not want to shake the fenders off your car, get stone pecks on your paint or glass, suddenly change the direction in which you are traveling, hit you head on the underside of the roof, puncture a tire on sharp rocks or in potholes, tip over, run into an animal, run into another vehicle, run into a ditch, run into a building, run into a tree, run into a person, run into debt, etc, etc, etc, etc. GET THE PICTURE? The DO NOTS listed above are not necessarily in order of importance.
Copyright 2000 Claude Dern, All Rights Reserved
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