Bear News Beartown News

FEBRUARY 1, 2001


From Big Joe of the Paul Bunyan Toothpick Company

Dear Beartowntonians, Northeasterners, Americans, and everyone in the world and the solar system:

I wish to take this opportunity, through this unique newspaper, to give you all a little insight into the wonderful wild world of logging. I have included some spectacular photos of our log job in Lost Hollow. These photos take time to load as well as a little ditty which I sing to tell you more about myself. Please be patient so you can fully enjoy this informative report.
Us loggers are proud of our heritage and tend to do many things in a backwards manner to hold onto the traditions of the past. We refer to this effort as au natural. We still maintain a cozy logging camp where many types of nightime enjoyment take place. My buddies and I have allowed the comforts of electricity, radio, and TV, as well as indoor plumbing.

Our diet has changed from pork and beans (or beans and pork) to gastronomic delights of an international menu. We use linen tablecloths and genuine silverware to enjoy the four course evening meals. Wine and candles lend to the ambience of the bunk house. The busy workday now has a 45 minute tea break at 9AM and 3PM. Evenings often include poetry reading, manicures, and pillow fights.

We carry on the important legacy of the woods; striving to use America's most valuable renewable resourse in a sustainable manner. Some of us loggers may have changed slightly but wood is still the same. All of us are surrounded by wood; beautiful, beautiful wood. For a horrible thought, next time you are using the lavatory, THINK PLASTIC!
Below is a picture of the crew in Lost Hollow. My buddy and I are on the right, just prior to a lavish trip into town for the weekend.

Big Joe
Paul Bunyan Toothpick Company


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