FEBRUARY 1, 2001
of the Paul Bunyan Toothpick Company
Dear Beartowntonians, Northeasterners, Americans, and everyone in the world and the solar system:
I wish to
take this opportunity, through this unique newspaper, to
give you all a little insight into the wonderful wild
world of logging. I have included some spectacular photos of
our log job in Lost Hollow. These photos take time to
load as well as a
little ditty which I sing to tell you more
about myself. Please
be patient so you can fully enjoy this informative report.
Our diet has changed from pork and beans (or beans and pork) to gastronomic delights of an international menu. We use linen tablecloths and genuine silverware to enjoy the four course evening meals. Wine and candles lend to the ambience of the bunk house. The busy workday now has a 45 minute tea break at 9AM and 3PM. Evenings often include poetry reading, manicures, and pillow fights.
carry on the important legacy of the woods; striving to
use America's most valuable renewable resourse in a
sustainable manner. Some of us loggers may have changed
slightly but wood is still the same. All of us are
surrounded by wood; beautiful, beautiful wood. For a
horrible thought, next time you are using the lavatory, THINK PLASTIC!
Copyright 2000 Claude Dern, All Rights Reserved
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