DECEMBER 1, 2002

LETTERS

MISSILES

DEAR BEARTOWN RESIDENTS,

During my long, esteemed service in the defense of our Country I have gained highly technical information on how our secret missile guidance systems work.  I have carefully prepared a short explanation, in laymen's terms, of how our modern missiles work.  Because this information may be considered CLASSIFIED, I have chosen to read you the simplified technical details so no paper trail will have been created.
BE VERY PATIENT (up to 2 minutes) FOR THE MESSAGE TO ARRIVE THROUGH THE MANY SECURITY FILTERS.  THEN YOU CAN LISTEN!!!

General Speeks Bull Huey (ret)

JELLIED  MOOSE  NOSE

Because moose nose is a less tender part of the animal it requires long, slow cooking for the best results.  Broiling is not recommended.  Begin by cutting the upper jawbone just below the eyes.  Put it in a large kettle of scalding water and parboil it for at least 45 minutes.  Remove and cool in water.  Pick off the hairs as you would feathers from a duck and wash the nose thoroughly, putting it in fresh water with some onion and some garlic and some pickling spice.  Boil gently until tender.  Cool overnight in the same juice.  In the morning remove the bone and cartilage, always saving a little surprise for the bulb of the nose which is the white meat.  Notice again how the thin strips along the bone and jowls are dark.  Give these to the dogs.  Slice the meat thin, pack it in jars or cans, covering it with the same juice.  This jells, and when chilled, it can be sliced.

IMA GOURMET

HOME

NEWS

HUMOR

MYSTERY

BOOKS

COUNTRY CORNER

ARCHIVES