Bear News Beartown News

DECEMBER 1, 2001

Letter from College

Dear Mom and Dad,

I just wanted to tell you how much I love you! Thanks for all the wonderful things you do for me. I am so glad to have Myrtle Jones as my mom and "Woodchuck" Bill for my dad. I can't begin to tell you how thankful I am for my mom and dad and everything we've been through, your trust in me, your belief in me. Your support and love have made and molded me to be the person I am today!! I'm going to, with God's help, do the same for others.

Love from your son,

P.S. I got another speeding ticket.


To the Editor:

After the many calls I received about the recent recipes, Flake Cake and Goofy Gumbo, that I shared with your readers, I'm writing this letter to share an old family recipe that can accomodate many Holiday Visitors. As a child I spent several years with Uncle Alfred and Aunt Minnie in Africa.


1 medium-sized elephant
1 ton coarsely chopped broccoli
(salt and pepper to taste)
2 rabbits (optional)

Cut elephant into bite-size pieces (takes about two weeks). Add coarsley chopped broccoli and seasonings. Cover with water. Cook in large kettle over open fire for about 1 week. If unexpected guests show up, two rabbits may be added (but only do this if necessary since nobody likes to find a HARE in their stew). Serves approximately forty-five hundred people.

Gastonomically yours,


I wish to share with your readers one way that helps me handle stress:

Lie on your back to eat celery, using your navel as a salt dipper!

Bruin DeBear



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