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NOVEMBER 1, 2006 |
LETTERS LITTLE GARDEN SNAKES CAN BE DANGEROUS
Garden
Grass Snakes, also known as Garter Snakes can be dangerous. Yes,
grass snakes, not rattlesnakes.
Here's why:
A
couple in Beartown, had a lot of potted plants. during a recent
cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to
protect them from a possible freeze. It turned out that a
little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants
and when it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it
go under the sofa. She let out a very loud scream!
The
husband (who was taking a shower) ran out into the living room
naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a
snake under the sofa. He got down on the floor on his hands and
knees to look for it. About that time, the family dog came and
cold-nosed him on the behind. He thought the snake had bitten
him, so he screamed and fell over on the floor. His wife
thought he had a heart attack, so she covered him up, told him
to lie still and called an ambulance.
The
attendants rushed in, wouldn't listen to his protests and loaded
him on the stretcher and started carrying him out. About that
time the snake came out from under the sofa and the Emergency
Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher.
That's when the man broke his leg and why he is still in the
hospital.
The wife
still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called
on a neighbor man. He volunteered to capture the snake. He
armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under
the couch. Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who
sat down on the sofa in relief. But while relaxing, her hand
dangled in between the cushions, where she felt the snake
wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, and the snake
rushed back under the sofa. The neighbor man, seeing her lying
there passed out tried to use CPR to revive her.
The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches.
The noise
woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor
lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she
assumed that he had been bitten by the snake. She went to the
kitchen and got a small shot of whiskey, and began pouring it
down the man's throat. By now the police had arrived.
They saw the
unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken
fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when
the women tried to explain how it all happened over a little
green snake. The police called an ambulance, which took away
the neighbor and his sobbing wife.
The little snake again
crawled out from under the sofa. One of the policemen drew his
gun and fired at it.
He missed
the snake and hit the base of the end table.
The table fell over and the lamp on it shattered and as the bulb
broke it started a fire in the drapes. The other policeman
tried to beat out the flames, and fell through the window into
the yard on top of the family dog who, startled, jumped out and
raced into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it
and smashed into the parked police car.
Meanwhile, the burning drapes were seen by the neighbors who called the fire department. The firemen had started raising the fire truck ladder when they were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires and put out the electricity and disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block area (but they did get the house fire out). Time passed. Both men were discharged from the hospital, the house was repaired, the dog came home, the police acquired a new car, and all was right with their world.
A while
later they were watching TV, the weather lady announced a cold
snap for that night.
The wife
asked her husband if he thought they should bring in their
plants for the night.
That's
when he shot her!
Dr. BRUIN, Beartown General Hospital
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