NOVEMBER 1, 2005
I'm writing you
this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a
good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it.
These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me
that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last
week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and
nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new
negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to
sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me
anymore, you don't touch me or anything. Either you're cheating or
you don't love me anymore, whatever the case is, I'm gone.
P.S. If you're
trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away
to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Nothing has made
my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I
have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far
cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown
out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice
when you cut off
all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was
"You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything
if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal,
you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped
eating pork seven years ago. I
went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the
price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that
my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and
your negligee was $49.99. After all of this, I still loved you and
felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had
hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us
two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the
fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter
that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.
P.S. I don't know
if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born Carla. I
hope that's not a problem.
Rich As Hell and Free!
SEE IF YOU CAN TELL WHICH BIRD IS THE
MALE AND THE FEMALE
This is AMAZING! Until now I never fully understood how to tell
the difference between male and female birds. I always thought it
had to be determined surgically... until now.
of the two birds is a female?
are two birds. Study
them closely......... See if you can spot which of the two is the
female.. It can be done. Even by one with limited bird watching
THE BIRDMAN of
THE ONE WITH THE MOUTH MOVING is the FEMALE
Copyright 2000 Claude Dern, All
This site hosted by VTweb.com