Bear News

Beartown News

NOVEMBER 1, 2002

LETTERS

CONGRATULATIONS to DOCTOR CHIEF CHARLES MOOSE

Charles Alexander Moose, 50, has been the Montgomery County, Maryland, Police Chief for three years. Prior to his work in Montgomery County, Moose served on the Portland, Oregon, police force for 27 years, six of which were as the chief. Chief Moose was raised in Lexington, North Carolina. He holds a BA in US history from the University of North Carolina, and a PHD in urban studies and criminology from Portland State University. Chief Moose also serves as Major Moose in the District of Columbia Air National Guard.
Alongside the luminary talents of Dolph Lundgren, Jean-Claude Van Damme, and Dustin Diamond, Chuck Moose made his Hollywood debut as a fugitive from justice in Simon West's blockbuster Wild Moose Chase. Moose followed up this box office smash with his star turn as thinly-veiled alter ego "Brock Moose" in The Moose Is Loose. Not content with capturing the envy of adventure-deprived moviegoers, Moose segued into a new career as romanic leading man; he appeared as "Carlton" opposite Family Matters' Kellie Shanygne Williams as "Lou" in Pretty Woman II: Electric Booty-Lou.
Moose now found himself firmly established as a sex symbol. He appeared on the cover of Playgirl, and was named People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive. Yet, Charles found that his fast-paced, heavy-partying, paparazzi-fleeing life left him emotionally and spiritually empty. Moose decided to forsake Hollywood and fame for a more fulfilling life in public service, specifically, on the force.
Having now made his reputation in the law enforcement community, Moose looks ahead to a career in politics. He does not intend to slum it in the local or state offices, no way, Jose; Charles A. Moose intends to run as the Bull Moose Party Presidential candidate in 2004. Among his job qualifications are his ability to make grown women quiver in their private areas just by using Imaginary Antler Power, being able to snap necks with just a twitch of his pinky, and the best "no comment" poker face known to man.

MANY THANKS FROM ALL OF BEARTOWN FOR A JOB WELL DONE!!!

FROM ALL US BEARTOWNTONIANS


PLEASE VOTE FOR ME

As probably the only ninth generation native Vermonter, I beg for your vote to help me get elected to an unprecedented 17th term in Montpelier.  I have upped my standards to the highest possible level, do likewise and UP YOURS.

AHERTO SUSHIWAKO

 


Email: dernc@sover.net


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