*_25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER_*

    

    1.*_ My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE _*.
    "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
    cleaning." 
    2. *_My mother taught me RELIGION_*.
    "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
    3.*_ My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL _*.
    "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle
    of next week!" 
    4.*_ My mother taught me LOGIC_*.
    " Because I said so, that's why."
    5.*_ My mother taught me MORE LOGIC_*.
    "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going
    to the store with me."
    6.*_ My mother taught me FORESIGHT_*.
    "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
    7.*_ My mother taught me IRONY_*
    "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
    8.*_ My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS_*.
    "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
    9.*_ My mother taught me about CONTORTION-ISM_*.
    "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
    10.*_ My mother taught me about STAMINA_*.
    "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
    11.*_ My mother taught me about WEATHER_*.
    "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
    12.*_ My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY_*.
    "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
    13.*_ My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE_*.
    "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
    14.*_ My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION_*.
    "Stop acting like your father!"
    15.*_ My mother taught me about ENVY _*.
    "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who
    don't have wonderful parents like you do."
    16.*_ My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION_*.
    "Just wait until we get home."
    17.*_ My mother taught me about RECEIVING _*.
    "You are going to get it when you get home!"
    18.*_ My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE_*.
    "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
    way." 
    19.*_ My mother taught me ESP_*.
    "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
    20.*_ My mother taught me HUMOR_*.
    "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
    21.*_ My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT _*.
    "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
    22.* _My mother taught me GENETICS._*
    "You're just like your father."
    23.*_ My mother taught me about my ROOTS_*.
    "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"
    24.*_ My mother taught me WISDOM_*.
    "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
    25. And my favorite:*_ My mother taught me about JUSTICE._*
    "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"

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