JANUARY 1, 2003

LETTERS

TRAFFIC CONGESTION on SWAMP ROAD

DEAR BEARTOWN RESIDENTS,

I wish to briefly explain the cause of the the traffic jam on Swamp Road the afternoon of December 31.  A blonde's car broke down and she pulled over to the side of the road.  She got out and walked back and opened the trunk.  Two men in trench coats got out of the trunk.  One faced to the rear of the car and the other to the front.  They both began to open their coats exposing their nude bodies to the oncoming traffic.
When I got the call I responded within 5 minutes and asked the blonde woman driver what was going on?
She responded, "These 2 men are my emergency flashers." 

EGGNOG

Sometime during the early evening of December 31,2002, I was visiting my friend Clark and we started drinking some eggnog with rum.  It was the most happy experience I have had in years.  As I awoke sometime on January 1,2003, my head was painfully asking me several questions.  The most pressing and important question was: HOW DO THEY MAKE SUCH POWERFUL EGGNOG?  (see below)

CLARK'S FRIEND
 

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