Bear News Beartown News

SEPTEMBER 1, 2005

RACIAL  PROFILING

The recent bombings in London reminded me of how far removed we have become from the realities of 9/11. But should we be surprised?
Please pause a moment, reflect back, and take the following simple multiple choice test. The events are actual cuts from past history. Do you remember?


1. In 1968, Bobby Kennedy was shot and killed by

      a. Superman
      b. Jay Leno
      c. Harry Potter
      d. a Muslim male extremist between the age of 17 and 40
2. In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were kidnapped and  massacred by
       a. Olga Corbett
       b. Sitting Bull
       c. Arnold Schwarzenegger
       d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
3. In 1979, the US embassy in Iran was taken over by
       a. Lost Norwegians
       b. Elvis
       c. A tour bus full of 80-year-old women
       d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
4. During the 1980's a number of Americans were kidnapped in Lebanon by
       a. John Dillinger
       b. The King of Sweden
       c. The Boy Scouts
       d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
5. In 1983, the US Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by
       a. A pizza delivery boy
       b. Pee Wee Herman
       c. Geraldo Rivera
       d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
6. In 1985 the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked and a 70 year old American passenger was murdered and thrown overboard in his  wheelchair by
       a. The Smurfs
       b. Davy Jones
       c. The Little Mermaid
       d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
7. In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens, and a US Navy diver trying to rescue passengers was  murdered by
       a. Captain Kidd 
       b. Charles Lindberg 
       c. Mother Teresa 
       d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40 
8. In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by
       a. Scooby Doo 
       b. The Tooth Fairy 
       c. Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid 
       d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40 
9. In 1993 the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by
       a. Richard Simmons 
       b. Grandma Moses 
       c. Michael Jordan 
       d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40 
10. In 1998, the US embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by: 
       a. Mr. Rogers 
       b. Hillary Clinton, to distract attention from Wild Bill' s women problems 
       c. The World Wrestling Federation 
       d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40 
11. On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked; two were used as missiles to take out the World Trade Centers and of the remaining two, one crashed into the US Pentagon and the other was diverted and crashed by the passengers. Thousands of people were killed by
       a. Bugs Bunny, Wiley E. Coyote, Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd 
       b. The Supreme Court of Florida 
       c. Mr. Bean 
       d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40 
12. In 2002 the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against: 
       a. Enron 
       b. The Lutheran Church 
       c. The NFL 
       d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
13. In 2002 reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by: 
       a. Bonnie and Clyde 
       b. Captain Kangaroo 
       c. Billy Graham 
       d. Muslim male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 and 40
Nope, I really don't see a pattern here to justify profiling, do you? Yeah, right!
So, to ensure we Americans never offend anyone, particularly fanatics intent on killing us, airport security screeners will no longer be allowed to profile certain people. They must conduct random searches of 80-year-old women, little kids, airline pilots with proper identification, secret agents who are members of the President's security detail, 85-year old Congressmen with metal hips, and Medal of Honor winner and former South Dakota Governor Joe Foss, but leave Muslim males between the ages 17 and 40 alone because of profiling. 
Let's get this message to as many people as we can so that the Gloria Aldreds and other dunder-headed attorneys along with Federal Justices that want to thwart common sense, feel doubly ashamed of themselves - if they have any such sense.
As the writer of the award winning story "Forrest Gump" so aptly put it, "Stupid is as stupid does." 
 

Ever wonder what radio station the bears and humans of BEARTOWN listen to while on the internet? Why good old Country Music, of course, on none other than: www.countrybear.com
Click here for genuine real country.
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