FAR RIGHT PARTY

Mr. Bojotdo's motto is "I am always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught." Qualifications: PHD from SPCA, two years of jungle warfare, featured numerous years on Animal Kindom, three terms as lister, five years as road commissioner, twelve years as town representative, one year as animal warden, eight years as govenor, one year as inmate. Ability: To foretell what will happen tomorrow, next month and next year - and to explain afterward why it did not happen.

FAR LEFT PARTY

Mr. Dojotbo's motto is "Keep the riffraff out of politics; and remember Mother Nature is our best scientist." Qualifications: been a resident of all 50 states and 2 territories, past CEO of Chiquita, almost a contestant on Who Wants to be a Millionaire. Ability: Being in complete ageement with all voters, on all issues, at all times.

RESIDENT'S RESPONSES
WHY DO YOU VOTE?

They always have good doughnuts. I have to pay TAXES! I had to walk to school and I'm still alive! It's the only time I see Uncle George. My dog gets to visit friends. Just passin' by on my way home from the Docs. There's always a bottle or two below the lower parkin' lot. Somebody has to keep the system honest! I can road hunt on the way. One of the few times every year I get to use indoor plumbing. It's the American way; isn't it? My goat gets to visit friends. Why miss a free lunch? I like being negative. I won't let prohibition return. Cow diapers will be next. I like to see the Board of Civil Authority work for a change. I come late and get several pipes full of tobacco from discarded butts just outside the main entrance. Watching voters is fun. I always vote no to change! Ma says I should. I get my years supply of pencils from the booths. Something I can do and not make a mistake!