Bear News Beartown News

AUGUST 1, 2008

HOW TO SAVE THE AIRLINES

Dump the male flight attendants. No one  wanted them in the first place.
Replace all the female flight attendants  with good-looking strippers! What the hell -- They don't even serve food  anymore, so what's the loss?
The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a 'party atmosphere' going in the cabin. And, of course,  every businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see  naked women.
Because of the tips, female flight  attendants wouldn't need a salary, thus saving even more money. I suspect tips  would be so good that we could charge the women for working the plane and  have them kick back 20% of the tips, including lap dances and 'special  services.'
Muslims would be afraid to get on the  planes for fear of seeing naked women.
Hijackings would come to a screeching  halt, and the airline industry would see record revenues.
This is definitely a win-win situation  if we handle it right -- a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an  asset.
Why didn't Bush think of this? Why do I still have to do everything myself?
Sincerely,
Bill Clinton


Ever wonder what radio station the bears and humans of BEARTOWN listen to while on the internet? Why good old Country Music, of course, on none other than: www.countrybear.com
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The purpose of this paper is to report area news, and nothing but the news so help me God, unless I feel like doing something else, which I can do whether you like it or not because it is my paper. You can read it or not, just as you please. But remember, if you don't read an issue you don't know what your missing.

DID SOMEBODY SAY BEARTOWN
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