Bear News Beartown News

AUGUST 1, 2003

WILL  PAUL  BUNYAN  RETURN?

It has been 100 years since Paul Bunyan and Babe the Blue Ox last visited and worked in Beartown's once numerous logging camps.  If they were to return it would take months to establish an adequate food supply for the two guests.  Tank trucks of Flapjack Batter, dump truck loads of Instant Coffee, Hay Wagons, and log trucks loaded with Link Sausages would form the largest caravan ever to enter Beartown.

Many of Beartown's farms were created when Paul Bunyan went to work to clear land for his camp.  He cut a tree going and coming with one stroke of his BIG AXBabe the Blue Ox had an insatiable appetite and helped Paul by eating off all of the limbs of the trees as fast as they fell.  Then Paul invented the Rope Handle for his BIG AX.  He would swing the AX in a circle like a lasso and cut all the trees within reach.  That was a wasteful way to cut timber, but in those days Paul thought there would never be an end to the great Beartown Timber.

 When the timber was gone Paul invented the STUMP PULLER.  He made a machine with a long handle of ironwood attached to it.  Then he fastened a chain to the spool with a canthook at the end of it.  When the STUMP PULLER was finished Paul hitched Babe to the handle and flung the chain around an acre or so of stumps and Babe yanked them all out at once.
 When all the stumps had been pulled great holes were left so
Paul started filling them with his BIG SHOVEL but this was too slow.  He wanted Babe to help so Paul invented his BREAKING PLOW which turned a furrow twelve feet wide.  Babe would pull the plow and within hours all the harvested land had been plowed, trampled down, and was leveled.  Today this area is known as the Beartown Flats.

Ever wonder what radio station the bears and humans of BEARTOWN listen to while on the internet? Why good old Country Music, of course, on none other than: www.countrybear.com
Click here for genuine real country.
MISSION

The purpose of this paper is to report area news, and nothing but the news so help me God, unless I feel like doing something else, which I can do whether you like it or not because it is my paper. You can read it or not, just as you please. But remember, if you don't read an issue you don't know what your missing.

DID SOMEBODY SAY BEARTOWN
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