FIFTIETH HOME
& GARDEN SHOW
|
This
years first prize goes to Mr. & Mrs. H. L.
Maxwell Hopewell Goodwell XIV. This spectacular
garden will be open the second Tuesday of every
week from 2 to 4. Security guards will prevent
viewing at any other times! |
| Second
prize was awarded to Bill "Icicle"
Warden, winter sports enthusiast, for his pink
snowball bush. This spectacular, bright hybrid
has been the cause of several nocturnal accidents
this season involving joggers, bicyclists, and
motorists as this huge bush glows in the dark! |
 |
|
Third
prize was awarded to Chainsaw Harry
for his many many many many many attempts to
create artistic forms in his own private forest
garden. Splits, slabs, splinters, and stability
are very difficult to overcome when trying to
force one piece of wood through another at high
speed. The impact creates an equal and opposite
reaction which varies greatly with each attempt.
However the "mistakes" are added to the
winter's woodpile so little effort is actually
wasted. With such determination, Harry is sure to
be a leading contender for next year's contest.
We all wish him the best in his pursuit of this
truly native form of greenery! |
| Mr.
I. M. A. Thrush, a hermit, won the most
exceptional house award again this year. He has
won every year since the structure's completion
34 years ago.. When notified of his winning the
coveted award, he responded with the four letter
word "GOOD". Today's zoning regulations
do not allow such a daring structure to be built
so Mr. Thrush should easily continue to win this
yearly award! |
 |
 |
An
Honorable Mention was awarded to Billy and Billie
Williams for their identical twin frogs perched
upon a verdant green lily pad. Next year there
will be a new category: Garden Pets! BE
SURE TO COMPETE NEXT YEAR! Many thanks to the 56
judges and the 4,759.2 hours they contributed! |
The
purpose of this paper is to report area news, and
nothing but the news so help me God, unless I
feel like doing something else, which I can do
whether you like it or not because it is my paper.
You can read it or not, just as you please. But
remember, if you don't read an issue you don't
know what your missing.
DID
SOMEBODY SAY BEARTOWN
************
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Dern
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Dern
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