Bear News Beartown News

JUNE 1, 2007

HO, HO, HO is now a NO, NO, NO


Because of the recent incidence with Don Imus, Al Sharpton and others
Are insisting that changes take place in our country......
Santa Claus will be banned as he utters the clearly racist and misogynistic
Exclamation, "Ho, ho, ho!"
No public mourning of Hawaiian singer, Don Ho, who recently died.
Pirate movies will be censored if they contain the phrase "Yo, ho, Ho."
John Wayne Movies with the reference "Wagons Ho" will be barred from
Public viewing.
All references to the Seven Dwarfs will be punishable due to the song
"High-ho!" which is offensive to sex workers of enhanced stature.
Any mention of farmers will cease due to their use of hoes, a racist,
Sexist farm implement.
The Lone Ranger will be eliminated from popular culture because he uses
The patently offensive phrase, "Hi Ho Silver"
All "Ho-downs" will be terminated as a racist affront to non-Southern
White Christians.
All travel to Ho Chi Minh City will be banned.
The phrases "Heave-Ho," "Gung Ho," and "Tally Ho!" will be expunged from
the English language.
If you are sleepy and say Ho Hum you can sleep in jail.
Idaho will cease being a state.
 


Ever wonder what radio station the bears and humans of BEARTOWN listen to while on the internet? Why good old Country Music, of course, on none other than: www.countrybear.com
Click here for genuine real country.
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The purpose of this paper is to report area news, and nothing but the news so help me God, unless I feel like doing something else, which I can do whether you like it or not because it is my paper. You can read it or not, just as you please. But remember, if you don't read an issue you don't know what your missing.

DID SOMEBODY SAY BEARTOWN
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