Beartown Gourmet
Invents HMRE
(HOT MEAL READY to EAT)
Ima Gastronomic
has recently formed the
HMRE company.
These hot, ready to eat meals are sure to become popular throughout the
world. The heat source is an enhancement of the common foot or
hand warmer. The packaging for the meal contains a mixture of iron
powder, activated charcoal powder, cellulose, zeolite, and moisture.
When the outer protective plastic pack is removed and the package is
gently shaken, the meal's temperature will rise to 140 degrees.
Ima hopes that
military confrontations around the world will expand and is actively
targeting that market. Wives will find these meals an ideal
solution for feeding husbands who come home late from work and other
activities. Cooking range manufacturers are expecting to see a 50%
drop in their business.
|
IMA GASTRONOMIC |
 |
DEALING with PEACE
ACTIVISTS
With all of this talk of war, many of us will encounter
"Peace Activists" who will try to convince
us that we must refrain from retaliating against the ones who terrorized
us all on September 11, 2001, and those who support terror. These
activists may be alone or in a gathering.....most of us don't know how
to react to them. When you come upon one of these people, or one of
their rallies, here are the proper rules of etiquette:
1. Listen politely while this person explains their
views. Strike up a conversation if necessary and look very interested in
their ideas. They will tell you how revenge is immoral, and that by
attacking the people who did this to us, we will only bring on more
violence. They will probably use many arguments, ranging from political
to religious to humanitarian.
2. In the middle of their remarks, without any
warning, punch them in the nose.
3. When the person gets up off of the ground, they
will be very angry and they may try to hit you, so be careful.
4. Very quickly and calmly remind the person that
violence only brings about more violence and remind them of their stand
on this matter. Tell them if they are really committed to a nonviolent
approach to undeserved attacks, they will turn the other cheek and
negotiate a solution. Tell them they must lead by example if they
really believe what they are saying.
5. Most of them will think for a moment and then
agree that you are correct.
6. As soon as they do that, hit them again. Only
this time hit them much harder. Square in the nose.
7. Repeat steps 2-5 until the desired results are
obtained and the idiot realizes how stupid of an argument he/she is
making.
8. There is no difference in an individual
attacking an unsuspecting victim or a group of terrorists attacking a
nation of people. It is unacceptable and must be dealt with. Perhaps at
a high cost.
We owe our military a huge debt for what they
are about to do for us and our children. We must support them and our
leaders at times like these.
Lesson over, class dismissed
Ever wonder
what radio station the bears and humans of BEARTOWN
listen to while on the internet? Why good old
Country Music, of course, on none other than: www.countrybear.com
Click
here for genuine real country. |
 |
The
purpose of this paper is to report area news, and
nothing but the news so help me God, unless I
feel like doing something else, which I can do
whether you like it or not because it is my paper.
You can read it or not, just as you please. But
remember, if you don't read an issue you don't
know what your missing.
DID
SOMEBODY SAY BEARTOWN
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