Did Sombody Say GOLF!
In primitive society, when
native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it
was called witchcraft. Today in civilized Beartown, it is
called COW PASTURE POOL or GOLF.
The secret of good golf is to
hit the ball hard, straight and not too often.
There is no other game like golf: you go out with three
friends, play eighteen holes, and return with three enemies. Golf
was once a rich man's sport, but now it has millions of poor
Even though Beartown has only one golfing facility, there
may be more golf curses than
any other town in the USA. Golf is an expensive way of
playing marbles. Golf
is a game in which the slowest people in the world are
those in front of you, and the fastest are behind you.
One new Beartown golfer, the best deer hunter in town,
made a spectacular long drive and was constantly
reminding his fellow players about it. One finally
replied, "Too bad you couldn't have
had it stuffed."
Many a golfer prefers a golf
cart to a caddy because the cart cannot count,
criticize or laugh. An amature golfer is one who
addresses the ball twice: once before swinging and once
again after the swing.
Overheard from two women on the
golf course: "Your improving, Mildred. You're
missing the ball much closer than you used to."
Spring is wonderful. Yesterday
I saw a farmer and a golfer begin their plowing together.
Small girl, as golfer in sand
trap pauses for breath: "He's
stopped beating it, Mommy. I think it must be dead."
what radio station the bears and humans of BEARTOWN
listen to while on the internet? Why good old
Country Music, of course, on none other than: www.countrybear.com
here for genuine real country.
purpose of this paper is to report area news, and
nothing but the news so help me God, unless I
feel like doing something else, which I can do
whether you like it or not because it is my paper.
You can read it or not, just as you please. But
remember, if you don't read an issue you don't
know what your missing.
SOMEBODY SAY BEARTOWN
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