MARCH 1, 2001
Editors Note: Our cub reporter, Bruin DeBear, was given the assignment for this month's front page. He mixed up his notes and the following article resulted:
Adam Holly and Eve Berry are to be
disposed of at public auction at my farm one mile north
of a beautiful cluster of roses on her gown before a
background of farm implements too numerous to mention in
the presense of seventy guests including two milk cows,
six mules, and one bobsled.
The pastor tied the nuptial knot with 18,000 feet of baled hay twine. The bride wore a dark blue frock of green crepe with a full set of hames and traces, carrying in her hand several good bales of alfalfa hay. Bridesmaids were two nice, fat Duroc hogs weighing about 300 pounds each. The groom, attended by a 2 & 1/2 year-old Herford bull, wore the conventional black. The bride entered upon the arm of her father, who was carrying a good double-barrel, 12 guage Remington shotgun now for sale cheap. The wedding march was played by a three horsepower gasoline engine on a good two-row corn planter with grass seed and corn drill plates. The bridal party left on one good John Deere tractor for an extended trip with terms to suit the purchaser. They will be home to their friends with one good baby buggy and a few other kitchen implements after date of sale to responsible parties and some fifty chickens.
Copyright 2000 Claude Dern, All Rights Reserved
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