Beartown News has big ideas for
the near future. Plans are to add a typewriter and a telephone.
These modern conveniences have recently become available in Beartown
and will be put to good use once we figure out how to operate these
newfangled contraptions. Our goal is to eventually pass the
This oldest continually published newspaper in the World has appeared
each week with unfailing regularity for more than 300 years. We
are unclear as to how many issues we need to publish before
can become the oldest continually published newspaper in the World!
to WARM the WINTER EVENINGS
Ladies and jellyspoons:
I come before you To stand behind you To tell you
something I know nothing about. Last Thursday
Which was Good Friday There will be a mother's meeting
For fathers only. Wear your best clothes If you
haven't any, And if you can come, Please stay at home.
Admission is free So pay at the door Pull up a chair
And sit on the floor. It makes no difference Where you
sit The man in the gallery Is sure to spit. We
thank you for your kind attention. The next morning will be
held At the four corners of the round table.
The sausage is a
With feathers long and wavy;
It swims about the frying pan
And makes its nest in gravy.
A bottle of pop, a big
We're from southern Louisiana
That's a lie, that's a fib
We're from Colorado
Down in the meadow
Where the corn cobs grow,
Flea jumped on the elephant's toe
Elephant cried, with tears in his eyes,
Why don't you pick on someone your size?
Most people don't know
but actually there isn't a diff
of bitterance between a
hipponoceros and a rhinopotamus.
Geat but not naudy
Med the sonkey
Tainting his pail