Bear News Beartown News




A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in front of him.
When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a large empty gallon jar and filled it with rocks of about 2 inches in diameter.  He then asked the students if the jar was full?  They agreed that it was.
So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar.  He shook the jar lightly.  The pebbles fell into the open spaces between the rocks.  He then again asked the students if the jar was full.  They agreed it was.
The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.  Of course, the sand filled the remaining spaces.
"Now," said the professor, "I want you to recognize that this represents your life.  The rocks are the important things: your family, your partner, your health, your children; things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.  The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else; the small stuff.  If you put the sand into the jar first, there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks.  The same goes for your life.  If you spend all your energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.
"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.  Play with your children.  Take time to get medical checkups.  Take your partner out dancing.  There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a party and mow the lawn.
"Take care of the rocks first; the things that really matter.  Set your priorities.  The rest is just sand."

Then a student took the jar which the other students and the professor had all agreed was full and poured in a bottle of beer.  Of course the beer filled the remaining spaces within the jar making the jar truly full.  Which proves: No matter how full your life is, there is always room for a beer!!!


The Beer Prayer

Our Lager,
Who art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink.
Thy will be drunk
(I will be drunk)

 At home as in the tavern.
Give us this day our Foamy head
And forgive us our spillages,
As we forgive those who spill against us
And lead us not to incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers.
For thine is thy beer,
The bitter and the lager,
Forever and Ever.
Bar Men.

IF the COAL MINE had been in VERMONT

A Senate Committee has announced that the rescue of the Vermont coal miners has been canceled, and the miners will, by recommendation of the Committee, be placed back in the mine.
The Senators noted the following violations in the rescue process:

1.  Heavy diesel equipment was moved to the rescue site without concern for possible air pollution.
2.  Water was pumped out of the mine without first determining if it was polluted, or providing an
environmentally safe containment area for the water.

3.  Numerous holes were drilled in the ground during the rescue, without first performing an Environmental Impact study.
4.  No effort was made to ensure racial, ethnic, and sexual diversity of the rescue workers.
5..  The Governor of Vermont was heard to say "Thank God" during a live television broadcast of the rescue, violating the separation of church and state.
6.  Several people at this public, government supported, rescue were observed praying and some even admitted having prayed.
7..  The trapped miners did not represent a diversified cross section of American society, and did not "look like America."
8.  Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, and Hillary Clinton were not given sufficient time to make speeches at the site.  Jackson has opined that he would have been able to convince the water in the flooded mine to warm up, if the Administration had allowed him the opportunity.
9.  The Senate was not given sufficient time to determine whether any Republican officeholder owned stock in the coal company, thus being responsible for the conspiracy that caused the mine to flood.  The committee is certain
that the Republicans are hiding something, sources said.

10.  No one mentioned that Al Gore invented mine rescues.
"Once a diversified group of miners has been chosen and placed back into the mine shaft, the holes will be sealed, the water will be returned to the mine, and the rescue will then be undertaken again, in an environmentally and politically correct manner," the Committee noted.


Copyright 2000 Claude Dern, All Rights Reserved
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