humor7-01.htm

HUMOR

WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

Imagine this...

You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night. It's raining heavily when suddenly you pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for a bus:
1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
2. An old friend who once saved your life.
3. The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.
Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing very well that there could only be one passenger in your car?
Think before you continue reading...
This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.
You could pick up the old lady because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first; or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back.
However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again.
The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. Guess what his answer was?

He simply answered: "I would give the car keys to my old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams."
Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations. Never forget to "Think Outside of the Box."

SITUATION AWARENESS

You are driving in a car at a constant speed.
On your left side is a valley and on your right side is a fire engine
traveling at the same speed as you.
In front of you is a galloping pig which is the same size as your car
and you cannot overtake it. Behind you is a helicopter flying at ground
level.
Both the giant pig and the helicopter are also traveling at the same speed as you.
What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation.
Answer: Get off the children's "Merry-Go-Round", you're drunk.

A REAL COWBOY

An old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee. As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.
She turned to the cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"
He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy."
She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. When I watch TV, I think about women. I even think about women when I eat. It seems that everything makes me think of women."
The two sat sipping in silence.
A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"
He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out that I'm a lesbian."

WATER

It has been scientifically proven that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli bacteria found in feces, in other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop!
However, we do not run that risk when drinking wine (or rum, whiskey, vodka, beer or other liquors) because alcohol has to go through a distillation process of boiling, filtering and fermenting.
It is better to drink wine and talk schitt than to drink water and be full of schitt.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information, I am doing it as a public service.

DID SOMEBODY SAY
BEARTOWN

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