Bear News Beartown News

AUGUST 1, 2002


(no reservations required)


A lot of people in the U. S believe there’s something big and bulky tramping through the woods of the Pacific Northwest, and it’s not the Michelin Tire Man. Some claim to have seen this ape-like creature or its footprints, and there are even recordings of its sounds. Naturally, there’s also a fuzzy film clip of this whatzzit.
Debunkers point out that the footprints have varied considerably, including the number of toes they seem to reveal. The creature in the film does not exceed the possible dimensions of a man in a monkey suit – or a hairy lineman for the NFL Seattle Seahawks, sans suit. The sounds could be faked. And analysis of fur and blood supposedly left by
Big Foot, also called Sasquatch, has proved inconclusive.
Cryptozoologists, who study such phenomena, have been generally skeptical of its existence. But do they know for sure?
Not yeti.


Arafat wants a postage stamp issued with his picture on it. So, he instructs his people, stressing that it should be of high International quality.
The stamps are created, printed, and released.
Arafat is very pleased.
But within a few days of release of the stamp, he begins hearing complaints that the stamp is not sticking, and he became infuriated.
He calls the people responsible and orders them to investigate the matter. They check the matter out at several post offices, and they report the problem to Arafat.
The report states,
"There is nothing wrong with the quality of the stamp. The problem is people are spitting on the wrong side."


"I'm a plumber," he piped.
"Your hair needs combing," he snarled.
"No, no, you can't have any of my lobster," he said shellfishly.
"Get to the back of the boat," he said sternly.
"Goodness, I'm all choked up," she said breathlessly.
"I'm very fond of lamb chops," he said sheepishly.
"I always get good grades," she said brightly.
"Let's set off all the firecrackers," he said explosively.
"This hot dog is delicious," he said frankly.
"You've broken my heart in two," she said halfheartedly.
"I play the bass drum." he boomed.
"Iron that dress," she said steamily.
"I'm sitting on the radiator," he said heatedly.
"There are no waves today," she said calmly.



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